One on One Meeting FAIL! – Don’t be an IDIOT like me…

I forgot.

I’ve been doing this leadership thing for 15 years. I run a department of 300 people. And I FORGOT to have one to one meetings with everyone on my team. Idiot.

Let me tell you about it…

You see… in my day job, I’ve been in a new role for about four months… and I have a leadership team of 9 people and we meet once a week as a group, and I have regular catch-ups with them individually.

Except… two of my team are in a job share. They split up aspects of a role between them. And for our regular catch-ups, I would always meet them TOGETHER.

And we’d talk about all the stuff going on, the things we needed to get done… and it was fine.

But then something happened that made me need to talk to just one of them individually. Something specific to them that it was just better for us to talk about one to one.

And as I was organizing that meeting I suddenly realized… I hadn’t spoken to these two people one to one for three months. I’d ALWAYS met both of them together.

And I felt like such an idiot!

Because I know FULL WELL that DOING leadership is about balancing your actions across three things.

Getting the job done.

Building your team.


Supporting your individuals.

And if you never meet your people one to one… It’s REALLY hard to do that last one properly.

Having one to one meetings with your people, is the most important thing you can do to support them, to learn about them, to help them do their best work.

AND…. To help you shape discussions and arguments and proposals in ways that land well with them, that address their concerns and aspirations, that speak into the conversations they’re already having in their heads.

New managers and leaders often ask… How do I influence and motivate my team? And the FIRST step in the answer is… Get to know them better!

And the first step in doing that… Is talk to them one to one!

So… Don’t be an idiot like me! Make sure you ARE having regular one to ones with all of your team.

But look… I know. The big problem for SO MANY new managers is that they get the leadership responsibility, but their boss just expects them to know how to do it, or figure it out on their own.

So you might be thinking… But Ben… HOW do I have an effective one to one meeting? What questions should I ask? Well…

There’s a really simple set of four questions that provide a PERFECT structure for 95% of your one to one meetings. So if you don’t know where to start, or you want to level up your one on one game, grab the PDF by hitting the button below.


Published by bencosh

Helping new leaders make a flying start.

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